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I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.
However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).
I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.
The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.
We’re not all as shallow and checklist-y as this unfortunate group you encountered.
In a city where the single girl to guy ratio is 2:1 and there’s beautiful people everywhere, it’s a single guy’s playground. And, thank you: you proved my point – dating in New York is a whole different game. LLG @LLG: I have to agree with @jamie I’m not American (I’m Canadian) and come from a place where people tend to be less materialistic because there isn’t a lot of money.
The British side is written by London-based e Harmony Editor Julia Filsell, and the American side by Pasadena-based e Harmony Content Director, Grant Langston. It seems to be an issue that neatly divides daters.
You can very well be born in America but have a more “European” mindset and vice versa. Perhaps this ‘score mentality’ is for bragging rights, perhaps it’s for validation so they can feel wanted and desired, or perhaps it’s a pure ego play.
I prefer the UK version which was, when I was there: Get drinks, get complimented randomly by cute boy. Meet boy for brunchy things Go home Make decision after.
Versus going to bars, scoping out prey, meeting for drinks then getting passive-aggressive emails. I believe you happened upon one very specific type of NY girl at this dinner Birds of a feather, darling.
Sure, they will go out for dinner and do fun activities, but it’s not packaged up in a formal and contrived manner. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women.
Perhaps this has to do with their upbringing, where it’s very normal for boys and girls to play and intermingle together.